To Teach or Not to Teach...

I apologize for the lack of posting of late. I ended up doing part of the long term sub job I blogged about earlier and that has taken over my life for the past couple of weeks. I'm working with a 4th grade class at the school where I was the librarian. The class is unusually small in number, but also unusually full of behavior issues. Unfortunately, I am no stranger to this, so I laid down the law and my expectations on my first day. They have tested me, but I am resilient. They've lost a lot of recess time (the main consequence for a variety of poor choices), but we've also been able to have fun together. On the whole, I'm enjoying my time with them.

But I am also reminded of why I left the classroom 7(!) years ago. I have a very hard time distancing myself from my work. I'm not very good at creating boundaries and even though these students are only mine for a month, I have taken them to heart as if they were my class for an entire school year. I felt "lighter" when I quit teaching. I didn't realize how I carried the stresses of the job (and the lives of my students) home with me every day. It's amazingly easy to pick those things up again. I'm physically and mentally exhausted at the end of the day. I know some of it is that I'm out of practice (and spoiled by my life of leisure!), but I think it's also my nature. It's the double edged sword of being a good teacher. Colleagues used to tell me that I would get better at creating boundaries when I had my own children. Obviously, I haven't been able to test that theory. I think it will help, but ultimately, it's about my nature/genetics/personality/instinct - things that aren't going to change with offspring. I am affirmed (not that I really needed to be, but that's also part of my nature!) in my decision to move to the library. It is not an easy job, by any means, but the nature of the job provides the boundaries that I can't create myself.

I will never stop teaching. I love it and I am good at it. But I will not be sad when this short tenure is over. And I will not return to the classroom full time.

Wacky Web Wednesday

VERY Excited Kid at a Church Concert
I love this kid, and I think you will, too. At first I worried that I was laughing at a "special" child, but it becomes evident in the video that the people running the camera (and laughing!) are his parents, so that absolved my guilt.

Happy Late Birthday, Assistant Dean!

The Assistant Dean and I have been best friends since we met in junior high choir. We used to joke that we (along with our 2 other BFFs) shared a brain cell. I think it's still true even after all these years. We're still very tuned in to each other, even though many miles separate us.

I hope you had a happy birthday, MB, and that your students are not driving you too terribly crazy up there on the mountain! I love you!